Thankful

Sometimes I feel so selfish.

We all have our 'good days' and our 'bad days.' On the good days it feels like there is a clear picture of God's abundant blessings. I find myself celebrating the many ways that God has showered me with His love and gifts. It might be the result of circumstances or a comment that someone makes. But on certain days it just feels like life is good. I feel enormously thankful.

However, on those bad days I can really find myself caught in a downward spiral. Again it might be the result of a circumstances or a comment that someone makes. But I find myself brooding, dwelling on it. I start to feel sorry for myself. Poor me. If only people really cared, if only people took the time to see how pitiful my little life has become. I feel so selfish.

That is why Thanksgiving is so important. The best antidote to that downward spiral is to pause and give thanks. Because when I re-direct my thoughts I discover how very skewed they have become. The truth is hidden by lies...and I've accepted the lies as reality. This is a very dangerous place to be and it is so incredibly simple to slip in to it. Pausing to remember all I have for which to be thankful is a genuine "snap-out-of-it" experience.

It takes discipline, especially when you're feeling so sorry for yourself. It isn't always easy to re-direct that kind of thinking. But without fail I have been encouraged by simply pausing to focus on the blessings, the joys, the abundance of God's goodness to me.

Part of my thankful list includes: Suzy, Zachary, Micah, Toby, ICC, the staff, my extended family, living in England, visiting castles and cathedrals, beaches, Snickers bars, laughing with dear friends, Cedar campus, a good red wine, warm clothes, camps with orphans in Vologda, a surprise gift, an encouraging email, Topsys cinnamon popcorn, people who encourage me, people who hold me accountable, people who don't let me take myself too seriously. And of course, most of all and above all, the free gift of God's grace in Jesus Christ.

I feel better already!