Wisdom

I've been praying for wisdom.

The future is really cloudy for me. I'm not sure what next year holds, let alone next week. It is not at all clear to me. That is not easy for a type-a personality. I want to know the whole picture and line everything up so that I am prepared. But God doesn't reveal things to me that way. Instead I get glimpses and nudges. And just enough to take the next step.

So I am praying for wisdom. If I depend on my own cleverness or understanding to sort it out then I know I am hopelessly doomed. I cannot figure it out nor do I have the ability to do what is necessary to bring it about. Truthfully I will just make a mess of things. Enough empirical evidence exists to fill multiple volumes proving that truth.

I do, however, trust that God has a perfect picture and a wonderful plan. I am convinced that God is not fretting over the future or wondering how things will work out. I feel abundantly confident that God sees, knows and already has everything lined up for me anyway. I just need to have enough wisdom to hear His still, small voice and step in faith to follow. Enough wisdom to discern between my own feelings and God's nudgings. Enough wisdom to walk by faith instead of by sight. Enough wisdom to remember that it isn't really all about me anyway.

So I am praying for wisdom.

The book of James has (quite surprisingly) given me great insights on wisdom recently. Chapter 1, verses 2-8 in Eugene Peterson's Message:

^2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

^5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

So here I am, realizing that when I worry and fret over the future my faith-life is showing its true colors wide open. But that's ok with me. It helps me realize that God is still working in me, growing me, stretching me, shaping me. I am trying very hard to "ask boldly, believingly." I'm asking it every day. Because I know that God's wisdom will give me the guidance, the refreshment and the peace that are lacking from my inability to see the future. I would much rather have guidance and peace than to know it all anyway.

So I am praying for wisdom. Will you pray for me too?